Omi no lox And The Three Heylin Dragons
by Sneer
Summary: Yes, yet another parody of Goldy Locks and the three Bears. You've all seen it before. But you know your still gonna click it. You can't resist. Give into the urge!


**Omi-no-Lox and the Three Heylin Dragons**

Once upon an evil time, in an evil fortress high up on an evil mountain was the domain of the legendary dragon worrier Chase Young. He had it all. Dastardly fame, wicked power, evil army, corrupt wealth, and even an evil family.

One evil day Chase sat down to enjoy his evil breakfast with his evil family. Or at least tried. Normally the servants would have everything ready for him when he got to the table but sometimes mama dragon would insist on cooking and today she was taking her own sweet time. She had burnt the meal she had been making for her evil happy family and was quickly putting together a replacement.

"Wuya!" shouted papa dragon,"Hurry up woman! Just because I'm immortal doesn't mean I want to spend the rest of eternity waiting on you to bring me my food. If you had just let the servants get it like they're supposed to-!"

"Oh hush papa dragon!" mama dragon said as she entered with a tray of three bowls in her arms and dropped it on the table were they rattled Porridge,"There!"

Baby dragon raised a red eyebrow,"What is it?"

"Its porridge Jackie." Mama dragon said sweetly.

"Looks like oat meal." Said baby dragon.

Mama dragon scoffed,"Porridge, oat meal, what's the difference."

"I don't know but what I do know is that this is a poor substitution for the breakfast I should be having." Papa dragon groused as he sponged the running seeds.

"Hn." Mama dragon snorted and then took her seat. One by one they each reluctantly sponged a portion in there mouths.

Baby dragon made a face and immediately spit it out,"Its to hot!"

Papa dragon didn't make a face and forced himself to swallow,"Damn it woman I thought you threw the burnt stuff out!"

Mama dragon discreetly spit her food into a napkin and replied,"I did Chase. It just needs a moment to cool."

Papa dragon stood,"Fine! Then we will spend the next few moment indulging in our evil natures. Come! Let us torment the local residents of the near by village."

Baby dragon groaned but mama dragon pulled him out the door after papa dragon. The feline worriers sighed and left the room to go and get some rest while they still could.

The throne room fell silent for a moment and soon a figure wrapped in blue fell from the ceiling after a series of spins and flips. The blue clad figure landed in a crouch and stood up in a martial arts defensive position. Narrowed black eyes scanned the room, finding no danger but instead a welcoming table of breakfast.

A yellow hand reached for the blue hood and pulled it back to reveal the shining, yellow, bald head of Omi-no-Lox, who had come to steal treasure from the great Heylin Dragons and had instead found a table of warm breakfast.

Omi's tummy rumbled as he recalled he had been in such a hurry to get going that he had forgone breakfast that morning.

"Hmm...No ones home. And I'm sure they won't mind if I just have a little bit of their breakfast." Omi said in his annoying accent.

Omi-no-Lox tasted from the first bowl, and yelped, fanning his mouth,"Aaah! This bowl is to hot!" so he tried the second bowl, and spit it out,"Ugh! This bowl is to cold!" And so he tried the third bowl,"Ah! This bowl is just right!" And he ate the whole thing.

"Hmmm...Now...What to do." Omi looked around until he saw that the door to the throne room was slightly ajar. He crept silently into the room and stood agape up at the three decorated thrones on a raised platform with many stairs.

Omi squealed, eyes going wide."I must try one! Besides, no one is home and no one one will have to know. No harm in just sitting. Just this once."

So Omi-no-lox rushed up the stairs and sat down in the center throne, squirming, trying to get comfortable,"Ugh! This one is to hard!" He complained. And so he tried the one to the right and was immediately sunk into the vast and plush pillows,"Ah! Mmmf, mms twf fwft!" Which of course meant,"This ones too soft." that or "Someone has stolen my socks." And so then he tried the one on the left and it was just right. Omi sighed,"Much better." But his elbow accidently hit a hidden button somewhere and the back dropped back and hit the floor, denting it as Omi rolled back.

He got up holding his stomach,"Ugh...I don't feel so well. Perhaps I shall lie down."

And so Omi went down the hallway searching the bedrooms. He found a large and lavish room with a big bed. "Woohoo!" He said as he jumped up and landed on the large bed."Ow! This bed is to hard!" Omi complained, rubbing his head, were he had landed. He looked under the covers to discover that the mattress was made of stone!

So Omi tried another room, a bit smaller but far more decorated. "Ah. This bed looks nice." Omi laid down but immediately sat up."Ow!" Omi checked and for a mattress were needles in place!

And so tiredly Omi-no-Lox tried another, smaller, and gothic decorated room. He ran his hands over the bed and finding nothing wrong with it laid down. It was just right! Omi sighed and curled up to go to sleep.

But while little Omi-locks was fast asleep the three Heylin Dragons were returning from their walk.

"That was pathetic Jack!" Yelled mama dragon as they entered their home.

"Hey!" baby dragon snapped back,"It would have worked if you hadn't been so busy messing with your cheap hair that you missed your cue!"

"My hair is not cheap you stupid boy! I've had this hair for the last twelve thousand years!"

"And you don't think that maybe that styles gotten just little bit old, you withered bitch!"

"Quite the both of you!" Papa dragon commanded before the loving conversation could progress any further. "Someone has been here that does not belong."

At this the other dragons froze and looked about their home suspiciously as they entered.

Mama dragon gasped when she spied the mess at the table,"Someone's been eating our breakfast."

"Who the hell would eat that crap." Commented papa dragon, ignoring the scowl from mama dragon.

"Who ever they are must not only be stupid for coming here but suicidal as well. 'Cause they ate all of mine." baby dragon said, turning the bowl over to demonstrate. Only a single drop fell from the bowl and landed with an audible '_thunk_' upon the table.

Baby and papa dragon exchanged looks but mama dragon was ignoring them both as she inspected the throne room.

"Someone's been sitting in our seats!" Mama dragon hissed as she spied the mess that had been made of the soft cushions upon her throne. And she had just gotten them _exactly_ how she wanted them!

"And has dented my floor." Papa dragon growled as baby dragon brought back up the back of his own seat. Or tried to. It had fallen so fast and so suddenly that the springs that adjusted just how far back it went and stayed had broken and it now flopped back uselessly onto the cold hard floor. Baby dragon sighed.

Papa dragon then caught the scent of something that did not belong there in his home. Growling he made his way to his bedroom. Catching on, the other dragons went to their rooms to see if any damage had been done.

From their own rooms they heard papa dragon's growl as he left his own room, annoyed at the scent of some stranger on his sheets,"Someone has been sleeping in my bed." His eyes briefly flashed a slight red color.

"Ugh! Someone has been in my room. And they've thrown all the covers off my bed!" Mama dragon called in annoyance as she left her own room, slamming the door shut a little more harshly then necessary.

Mama and papa dragon both looked to baby dragon who sighed and went to inspect his own room, the others close behind him.

Then baby dragon shrieked like a little girl,"There's a strange boy in my bed!"

Baby dragon shrieked and leapt into mama dragon's arms who gapped openly as there was indeed a small yellow boy in baby dragon's bed.

Papa dragon growled as he entered, scales already appearing. Slowly, both mama and baby dragon entered, following papa dragons example.

Little Omi-no-lox felt his tiger senses prickle and reluctantly woke, yawning and rubbing his eyes cutely. He looked up through blurry eyes and froze. Above him loomed three human-lizard hybrid beings, all snarling or smiling, possibly both, down at him.

He screamed loudly but it turned to a slight gurgling sound as papa dragon's teeth sank into the soft tissue of the boy's neck, holding it there. Blood spurted from the first contact, some landing on the walls, others on the floor, then dribbling down slowly onto the black sheets before flowing freely, slowly, but steadily down in little red waterfalls.

Baby dragons grabbed the kicking legs within strong, red claws and pulled viciously. Something somewhere within the little yellow body made a popping and cracking sound.

Omi-no-lox attempted small gasping noises as with the pull the skin about his neck shredded around the sharp teeth there as his body was pulled down., like string cheese.

During all this Omi-no-lox's robes had slide slightly up his body, revealing the smooth, soft yellow skin of his belly.

Mama dragon eyed it for a bit before snapping her jaw threateningly, earning a strangled squeak from the boy. Mama dragon then closed her sharp teeth about the soft belly flesh. But unlike papa dragon who had only dug his teeth part ways in, mama dragon's teeth went all the way through, tearing chunks of flesh off the belly, pulling away and taking with it long, slippery entrails that tangled and clung to her red stained snout.

She huffed a few breaths as she watched the body clasped between baby and papa dragon spasm and jerk in vain attempts to go on living through the agony.

When finally the boy was dead mama, papa, and baby dragon preceded to tear the body apart, just for fun.

And that night, when baby dragon went to sleep, the mess having already been cleaned up by the few jungle cats that were not severely injured for their lack of awareness and allowing th intruder in, he was lolled to sleep by the smell of fresh hot blood still lingering in the air. And tired from the days excitement, as well as pleased with the family activity for the day, something that they had all enjoyed and not bickered over,a rare treat, baby dragon slept peacefully and contentedly, and dreamed of bloodied twinkies all night long.

Mmmm...Twinkies.

The End!

_A/N:_

_I own NOTHING!_

_Also, I love Jack! heart You know he makes the freaking show!_


End file.
